hate:

i’m like 102% tired

"HAKUNA MA’VODKA"
it means no memories, for the rest of the night  (via suchvodka)

snapchatting:

i was confident for like 2 minutes one time

"Come lay with me. I wanna talk about nothing with someone that means something."
(via fuckingz)

actionables:

today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED

normanbecile:

musicofthestage:

timelordparadise:

myownlost:

I’d like to cancel my subscription to Menstrual Cycle Monthly

I’m sorry, it appears you’ve taken out a fifty-sixty year subscription. However, we can pause it for nine months as long as you sign a contract that says you’ll take out a subscription to Baby Daily for at least eighteen years

Damn those Terms and Conditions.

i didn’t even read them i’ve made a terrible mistake

dreaminglyy:

awww I love getting cute goodnight texts from no one

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